adjuncthell: first time for everything, or: YIKES

Monday, July 20, 2009

first time for everything, or: YIKES

Female student, approximately 20 years old, who missed the in-class composition the other day came up to my desk this morning...

"Can I make up the compo?"
"Do you have documentation for your absence?"
"No."
"Well why were you absent?"
"I had a doctor's appointment. It's a regular thing."
"Well in that case you all are supposed to schedule such things outside of classtime, that is, if it's not an urgent visit."
"Well that's the only time they could take me for my botox treatment."

Holy. Shit.

Now I'm no longer worried about her absences so much as her sanity... or perhaps her being able to move her face by age 35.

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The world is full of this kind of dumb smart-alec who doesn't understand anything.

- Richard Feynman  

I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nose punk leave my cheese out in the wind.

 - Ed Rooney, Ferris Bueller's Day Off by John Hughes

  Danny: I've gotta go to college.. I gotta. 

Webb: Aahh Danny... You don't have to go to college; this isn't Russia. Is this Russia? This isn't Russia is it? No, didn't think so..

 - Caddyshack  

Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates.  

- A. Lawrence Lowell

  If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.  

- Frank Zappa  

In school, we had a policy of never studying unless it was absolutely necessary, and still got high-to-mediocre grades. This convinced us that we were smarter than the average citizen, and actually, we're still thinking that way.

 - Jo Ann Beard, "The Boys of My Youth," The Boys of My Youth  

  ...I hesitated; with the lack of self-knowledge I'd exhibit for years to come, I'd signed up for an eight o'clock class.

 - Melissa Bank, The Wonder Spot  

You can lead a boy to college, but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard

  ...Meanwhile, the Internet's booming, and kids we gave C pluses to are waltzing out of college and getting rich on stock options while we bust our asses for a pathetic stipend that doesn't even cover the rent.  

- Tom Perrotta, Little Children  

You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does.

 - Tom Petty  

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges. 

- Bob Dylan  

DISCLAIMER: The rocker quotes here should be taken with a grain of salt accuracy-wise as they are taken from thinkexist where many a poor quotation has been faultily cited. If anyone has corrections I urge you to comment. I would be very happy to make changes.