sit in

Well it all started when a U. employee wrote me a few weeks ago...

(Note lack of any kind of salutation and crazy full name address. Whatever. Actually this is kinda funny because over the years I've had several friends who habitually called me by my first and last names together as kind of a nickname because it's one of those names that flow together really well, so maybe he was just mesmerized by the fluidity...)

E---- S----,
I am interested in attending your ELEMENTARY FRENCH I class at 8am. Currently, I am a full time employee with the History Department working on campus. Even though I am eligible to register for classes, I would prefer just to sit in. You can give me a call if you would like to discuss.
Jason

Um, well, no, I have no need to discuss it, but thanks for the presumptuous tone as you ask someone to do you a favor...

Dear Jason,
I'm sorry but people have to be on the roll at least in an auditing capacity in order for us to let them in. I believe auditing fees are somewhat less expensive than enrolling as a graded student. If there's another way to do it officially, I guess the Registrar might know it so I would call them if I were you. Once you're on my paperwork in whatever capacity I would be more than happy to have you in the class.
hth
ES

Usually at this point people decide they really weren't that interested in taking French after all... oh you mean I have to pay?! (That being said I have on rare occasion let a Very Trusted Friend or two audit unofficially, but never anyone whose discretion I would have any doubts about since we are absolutely not supposed to do this.)

B---[here he addressed it to another name entirely, ftr, which I thought another nice touch]

I just returned from the Registrars office and filled out the Audit application. It seems that you (or your department head) needs to contact Alice R----, xxxxxx@xxxxxxxxxxx.edu 555-1234, and let her know I am welcome in the class. They will pass your letter onto Admissions and then I can register, which will add me to your class role. If you have any questions please call Alice.

Jason

I do admit to having my persnickety side (again due to Mom's genes, well mostly) so I really could not resist writing him this. (Also I really was hoping against hope that he was mistaken as to whose section.) --

Jason,
Are we talking about the same class? We don't have any instructors called B---. Please confirm the course number and section number for me and I will be happy to contact Alice if it is my section.
tks
E--- S---

Alas, no,

Sorry. I meant E---. Here's the coordinates.........

(It was worth a try, come on!)

...Back to MY calling Alice for Some Lame Potential Student's Crap...... Well, I wouldn't have had any questions for Alice and therefore wouldn't have had to bother calling her except that Jason gave the wrong fricking email for her, in his continued lazyass persistence. Anyway I got her email from her so I could send her, in black and white, this:

Dear Alice,
This is to attest that Jason Blahblahblah is welcome to audit my class FREN101-1 for the coming semester. Please help him with whatever is necessary to that end.
Best,
E--- S---

5 days later...

E--- S---, [which salutatory non-method was really starting to pique yours truly, name fluidity or no]

I am told I need a form from your department before I can enroll in this class. Are you familiar with this?

It is required by R--- B--- at the Office of the Registrar (xxxxxxx@xxxxxxxxxxxx.edu) --

Thanks,

Jason

As we say in French, Ça me fait une belle jambe.
(That makes me a beautiful leg, aka I couldn't care less.)

hi Jason,
All I know about all this is what you have told me - if I were you I would ask Ms. B--- exactly what form and try to get a copy somewhere or contact the Romance Lang. Dept. (555-4321) to see if they have them.

Bonne chance
ES

What led him to believe I had suddenly taken an Audit Expert Seminar??

Jason! Repeat after me:

Mme S is the INSTRUCTOR; she TEACHES.

The myriad registration/admin-y types all over campus REGISTER AND ADMINISTRATE.

I, the student, RUN MY LITTLE HINEY ALL OVER THE PLACE BETWEEN THE TWO SO THEY CAN DO THEIR JOBS.

Clear?

A couple days later a xeroxed copy of a permission to audit form was on my desk with Jason's name on it and a sig. from our Dept. head. No note, no other sigs (it had blanks for a dean's sig or two), no nothing. I magneted it to the filing cabinet next to the desk that I use as a makeshift bulletin board and debated whether to email him and ask what, if anything, I was supposed to do with it. After a cool 3-4 seconds of deliberation I decided if he needed me to do something he needed to let me know and I had plenty of other stuff to do in the meantime, given the new semester and 400 other people who wanted to add and actually did their homework for same.

Me being me, tho, I felt guilty a few days later when he had still not appeared in class, plus I had been holding a spot for him since it's my smallest classroom and I didn't want to burst the fire code. I emailed him for an update.

Oh it's not going to work out. I'll have to try another semester. Thanks anyway.

It doesn't really surprise me that someone like this would not contact me about what was going on, so maybe my standards are relaxing enough that eventually I'll be able to handle such lamos with little or no personal trauma! (We can hope...) But it does kinda surprise me so much that a University employee would (a) be so clueless as to how to communicate in a professional context, (b) not realize that academia entails bureaucracy tantamount to that of the US government, and (c) really be surprised when he had to do a little legwork for something he wanted. Maybe my standards aren't relaxing as much as I thought...

Sit in?! I'll show you a sit-in; I'm going to protest stupid people who have more presumption than they know what to do with.