cheating with a goodie from Chronicle

Just realized the title is going to make you think I'm talking about student cheating but it's ME! I'm posting a copied bit instead of writing since I'm buried in the 102 final (which, don't get me started - they kinda pissed me off today - I KNOW! my favorite class pissed me off! I think I really need to start looking for something to do instead of academia maybe if my favorite class can bum me out - altho that's probably why I took it so hard... anyway now I'm not going to elaborate [today anyway].) Instead I'll leave you hanging with fun, albeit TOTALLY purloined, reading...

A. sent me this from the Chronicle.com forums. I'm sorry I missed it (I've been having lots of fun in there and, more, no small amount of comfort from seeing how many others experience similar stuff to me as we forge our way thru contemporary American higher [a loose term] education [perhaps yet looser].)

Anyway here:

Do Unto Students As They Have Done Unto You

Let's think about what the classroom would be like if we acted the way our worst students did.

1. When a student asks a question, pull out your blackberry and start texting someone. When you are done, look up and say, "Oh, were you talking to me?"

2. When students ask if you've graded their tests or papers yet, reply, "You know, I was up partying all night and just didn't get to it. Maybe later." Actually, I can think of a number of funny replies to this:

2a. "I had a grandmother die and I had to go away for the weekend. You won't count this against me at eval time, will you?"

2b. "I had a weird ooze coming out of my nipple and I was WAY too distracted to do any grading this weekend. Plus, I didn't want to get any of it on your papers. You won't count this against me at eval time, will you?"

3. Come into class without books, chalk, pen, paper. Borrow a book from a student and a dry erase marker from another. EVERY DAY.

4. Leave without warning in the middle of class. Come back 5 minutes later and say, "Aah, really needed that bathroom break."

5. Wear too-tight low riders and bend over frequently.

6. Don't show for appts with students. If students complain, say, "I don't remember ever setting that appt."

--From Chronicle forums, April 28, 2007

Utterly priceless and quite à propos. The one that might make any of you non-teachers scratch your head the most is the TMI malady syndrome... Somehow many students think we need to know every gory detail about whatever injury, women's problem, or lower GI imbalance they happen to have suffered.