OK I admit it

I let the 9h class go early today because I didn't want to spend a single second more in the presence of their chew-my-leg-off attitude. Yes, we had run out of activities but in the other classes these activities take longer in the first place since we HAVE FUN playing with various answers and since they ASK QUESTIONS when they don't understand.

It's kind of unfair; sadly, the classes I like (read: which contain engaged students no matter their level who don't act like every single thing we do is absolute torture) get out less early less often than the ones which sit there drilling me with their

oh-just-try-to-interest-us-
in-this-required-shit-that-
we-despise-and/or-already-
completely-know

looks
(or not, since many of them stare at their desks the whole time).

In the long run it's not a good move on my part anyway since when I get back to the office I almost always feel guilty and think, "Come on, you could have withstood another 10 minutes of activity with them, and they could use another 10 minutes of practice anyway."

Maybe if I alter my perspective and really tell myself to keep them in there another 10 minutes specifically to torture them... I mean my negativity about such classes isn't going to go away overnight so it would be kind of a pedagogical aikido move... Use the momentum of my negative attitude towards the noble purpose of affording them more practice... and Pow! they're on the ground fluent in French and the semester is over before they even know what hit 'em.

...OK, well, sometimes the line between pedagogical aikido and passive-aggressiveness is pretty thin. (Even tho I'm right that the more time they spend in class the better for their French; unfortunately the more time the better to feed their hatred and boredom, too, but what of that? Isn't that what [they think] core curriculum is for in the first place? So who am I to buck such a longstanding credo?)

It doesn't really matter what my motivation is as long as they get as much practice as the others, does it?

ha.

After this we will have almost no days where we run out of stuff to do anyway so this issue is moot. Guess it's just something I need to work on for next semester.

Sigh. It's good to have goals.