Scatological woes

OK, what does it mean that I have a Wild Kingdom fight-or-flight poop every morning a little while before class? Is it just adrenaline? Is it nerves? Could my subconscious actually be feeling a need to void so that if I am stalked and attacked on my way to or during class I’ll be able to put all energy towards defense? Is it poor nightly prune timing? Possibly, but see, I don’t have the primeval 7:25am poop on Tuesdays and Thursdays, only on teaching days. Never on the weekend either…

I do feel somewhat more light on my feet when I go to class post-poop but it’s not like I am aware of any particular poop surplus beforehand… And quite inexplicably it almost always surprises me when it hits even tho it truly happens every single teaching day and at almost exactly the same time, i.e. midway thru typing that day’s quiz or lesson plan, usually the former. (OK yeah & this is kinda the perfect entry for us to segue into how anal I am, typing daily lesson plans… but we won’t.)

This would bother me less, in fact, if it would just wait another 2 minutes. It Really Really Really bugs me that I can’t do the poop and the quiz xeroxing on the same trip. Seriously that hour before class is timed pretty much down to the minute as it is so it drives me crazy having to walk around to the other side of our floor twice for things that would mesh together So Wonderfully Well if they would only just try. The obvious time management-preferred chain of events would be to go to the xerox room, wake up the machine, input the quiz (“Ready to scan! Warming up!”), go poop, wash hands thoroughly with soap (just so you won’t wonder), pick up quiz copies, back to the office to finish my lesson plan.

See how much more efficient that is? Alas, my innards are a bit uncooperative. But well, daily ill-timed poops are better than none at all of course, plus 7:25 is better than 8:25.