Chuckle, chuckle, guffaw… sigh.

I wish I could say that this kind of thing was rare…

<< I just got informed that I will not be attending [X University] next year due to my grades which is terrible news for me. My parents rule is that I cannot get any grades lower than a B or else I have to move home. I realize I am extremely far behind in French and would probably be lucky to pull off a C. I plan on meeting with you tomorrow after class to see what I can possibly do to catch up and to figure out what's wrong with Quia. Thank you so much for always being extrememly understanding towards me. See you tomorrow!>>***

We’ll skip over any comment about spelling or grammar; I’m finally resigned not to expect much on that score from students (or in fact, sadly, from the world at large) in emails… The crux as I see it: more than fact that he never did make good on this plan to come see me after class (ouf! color me surprised!), more than the fact that he has only attended class SIX days so far this semester (after 30 potential class meetings to date), more than the fact that he has a 40% so far as his course average (which makes the "lucky to pull off a C" quite laughable - "a freak of mathematics to pull off a D" would be more accurate), what is really so very astonishing is the absolute denial most of these students are able to call upon whenever needed. Quite a neat trick – I wish I had such capacities myself!

An extra chuckle is earned for the belief that I’ve been understanding towards him… In fact I’ve responded to each and every lame-ass email in a matter-of-fact way, dutifully answering futile queries which I know he will never actually act upon… mostly I’ve just kind of put up with continuing to hear from him, and in fact usually an email from him comes after yet another couple of weeks of absence, at which point I’ve decided he finally realized he just needed to give up, and then { Jaws music } another email creeps up in my inbox.

Except for perhaps the very first email back in January when he had only missed a couple of days and I still thought it could be put down as normal occasional absence I have never offered any extra help or encouragement or advice beyond simply answering whatever feeble pretense of concern in the guise of yet another dimwit question happened along in his message. For example, in no less than 3 separate emails he has asked for my office hours so that he can come talk to me about how he’s doing. Of course my office hours are posted on the syllabus, on my homepage, on WebCT and at the bottom of each and every email I send to students...

In the past I might have actually spelled out in one of those response emails how he needs to come to class, needs to see me, is pretty much failing, etc., but frankly I’m sick of having to point out such things and usually if the student is so clueless that it is necessary for someone else to wake them up, it’s a lost cause anyway. This isn’t high school, after all.

And so it goes...

By the by, I am a little heartened that his parents are so exacting. With the attitude of most of our students I’ve begun to believe that parents these days (at least parents of a certain economical level - I could of course start yet another tirade against rich people here but I won't) either don’t give a shit or are way too lenient. It’s nice to see that some of them are still at least trying to get some some responsibility and discipline in the mix.


***Please don't bother telling me I'm violating some law somewhere as well as standard decency by posting this. Why the heck do you think this blog is anonymous?!